Spark Inspiration

Allowing Clarity

I can feel it coming. My tone is sharper than I intend it to be. The idea of taking on another work project feels like a burden rather than an opportunity. I feel impatient and irritable. It’s hard to be around other people, especially happy ones. What’s harder is to be around myself.

It’s a mutiny. My mind is working against me. The mental environment is toxic. My thoughts spiral downward into a negative space, ruminating about things I can’t change, old dysfunctional beliefs that never worked for me or just plain old worry. It seems that no matter what I do, the momentum I have created in my head is stronger than anything I can combat. I struggle to redirect my mind, focus on something innocuous. But nothing seems to work.

Misty Pond

It’s at this point that I remind myself to just let go. There’s nothing I can do to fix it. I know that it will pass and fighting against it doesn’t work. I contemplate my unmet needs and try to meet them. I allow myself to think the negative thoughts that I can

not keep at bay. I swim  in my feelings as a practice to honor myself—to celebrate the contrast in my experience that helps me know what I do and do not want.

Although it feels like I’ve lost control when mired in negative thinking, it is really an opportunity to regain personal clarity. By listening to my reaction and following it to its origin, I gain wisdom that I could have missed. All I need is to be open to what my thoughts and feelings have to say whether I think it’s acceptable or not.

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